asher_says_rawr

dictation; an excuse for Asher to be bossy.

This is Theo. I'm writing down what Asher says as apparently he has had his phalanges removed in addition to his wisdom teeth. Here he is:

"So I'm sick because someone came and yanked out all my teeth and it hurts and I throw up a lot and I think I don't have stitches anymore and I huuurt.

Oh yeah, Theo is here. He bought me clam chowder. This is why I love him. He is the light of my taste buds and love of my life. The clam chowder is the only thing that I haven't thrown up because it was bought out of love. Also it is delicious and clammy and 'nummy' and perfect.

Speaking of which Theo is playing a lot of pokemon. I like pokemon because they make nice sounds and the music is soothing. We are also watching television or a DVD. I dunno. But Theo's leg is warm because of my laptop.

I am tired and on pills.

It tastes like blood.

I love Mattie.

I really want pop tarts but I cant chew and my shoulders hurt and Theo called the doctors and I don't think hes slept at all because when I woke up at night to take my pills he was still playing the game, he was still trying to take up as little room as possible on my couch which is big.

Yaaaay.

Tell people I say hi."

Asher says hi.

Also, for the record, sleep is a fallacy and pokemon is serious business.

THEO THE MAGNIFICENT

Hey, Ashercons, this is Theo. Don't you all just love Asher's new layout? I know I do. I'm so proud that he was finally man enough to own up to the simple fact that I'm just better than him.

If you want to know what is going on, I will give a quick rundown of the situation. Basically, when I fell asleep a few days ago, he took my computer and posted under my LJ account. It was disgusting. Then, he refused to apologize. And so, here we are today.

If you were wondering how I was able to hack into Asher's account...he writes his passwords on his wall. I can officially use any of his accounts anywhere. He should probably look into a safer security measure. I'm tempted to go through and change all his passwords, but I'll refrain for now as he's been slightly less insufferable lately. Which, I might add, still means that his presence causes me to suffer.

Also, his password is disgusting. I feel unclean having typed it, like I ought to go wash my hands.

In other news, Asher is failing Biology, so now I have to tutor him or else he'll be kicked out or something equally hilarious. You might misconstrue this as me being nice to him. I urge you to fight against that preposterous notion and realize that I'm helping him for completely selfish reasons.

Later, Ashercons.

THEO THE KING